Clown Town on Europa

Name of Establishment: Clown Town
Web Site for Establishment: www.clownguild.org (the old site)
Location (Sextant Coords):12º 34' north, 82º 37 west
Seer Support: Quests, no decorations.
Days/Hours of staffed operation: Peak hours GMT and CET


Within Sosaria exist a number of places which are well worth exploring. One of these is Clown Town, a thriving community located west of dungeon Shame at around 12º 34' north, 82º 37 west. I was privileged to be given a tour.

Once there was a man who decided to open a school. His mission was to teach young adventurers how to survive in a hostile and dangerous world - and how to have fun doing so.

Hence was born Clown Town, now a thriving community . The teacher was called Ulv Vidfare, and when he opened the doors of his school he expected five or six students. Within a few weeks he had 40.

The town has a mission - to spread the Clown Spirit across Sosaria, and put a smile on every face. Yet it is not without its dangers. For although the inhabitants are friendly enough, they built their new home on ancient ruins which are only now giving up their disturbing secrets.

I received a guided tour of Clown Town from the mayoress, raven-headed beauty Valkyria. She showed me the original school and explained its purpose.

She said: "Ulv taught the art of fighting. But most of all, he taught the Clown Spirit - How to behave, and always have a smile on thy face. And of course, to treat others well.."

The courses became so popular that the Clown guild grew, and now boasts 71 members. Ulv Vidfare has now left for parts unknown but movement he started grows stronger.

New adventurers are welcome at Clown Town, and after a short period getting to know the locals are invited to adventure with them. They are given the title Student of Clown, until they complete their training - at which point they are inducted into the guild via a secret ceremony known as Clowning. Valkyria was reluctant to tell me about this, stating only that "we have a blast".

The residents are keen to take their philosophy to the masses, and have organised a number of Clown parades through the city of Britain. On the last occasion the Town Crier heralded their arrival, and urged spectators to laugh.

As Valkyria showed me around the town it was full of life, even in the early hours, as people came and went. I saw the various shops, including the usual smithy and provisioners, as well as a pie shop where I stayed for quite a while. There is also a suburb to the north of private shops, and an embassy where leaders of fellow guilds are feted by the Clown ambassador, Balsarious.

Visitors may meet Santa Claus, who seems to have retired there after the winter solstice holiday, or the Clown Crier, who bellows the news.

However - I could not help noticing the strange ruins lying throughout the town. Valkyria told me this: "When we first built the town, we thought they were the remains of another Clown Town that was here before. Now we are not so sure.

"Where our guild house now stands, there was once a tower. I had it demolished - and when I did the gargoyles started to appear. It seems we have disturbed some ancient site of importance to them, and awakened them from their slumber."

I can report that Clown Town has been subject to a series of brutal attacks by the gargish folk, who seem also to have become active at other ruins across Sosaria.

My friends, I must say I was most impressed by my visit to Clown Town. It truly is a jewel of Sosaria.

Palmer Eldritch.